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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year ago

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The majority of censorship is self-censorship

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in SAN DIEGO (Feb 22, Mysterious Galaxy). After that, it's LA (Saturday night, with Adam Conover), Seattle (Monday, with Neal Stephenson), then Portland, Phoenix and more!

I know a lot of polymaths, but Ada Palmer takes the cake: brilliant science fiction writer, brilliant historian, brilliant librettist, brilliant singer, and then some:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/10/monopoly-begets-monopoly/#terra-ignota

Palmer is a friend and a colleague. In 2018, she, Adrian Johns and I collaborated on "Censorship, Information Control, & Information Revolutions from Printing Press to Internet," a series of grad seminars at the U Chicago History department (where Ada is a tenured prof, specializing in the Inquisition and Renaissance forbidden knowledge):

https://ifk.uchicago.edu/research/faculty-fellow-projects/censorship-information-control-information-revolutions-from-printing-press/

The project had its origins in a party game that Ada and I used to play at SF conventions: Ada would describe a way that the Inquisitions' censors attacked the printing press, and I'd find an extremely parallel maneuver from governments, the entertainment industry or other entities from the much more recent history of internet censorship battles.

With the seminars, we took it to the next level. Each 3h long session featured a roster of speakers from many disciplines, explaining everything from how encryption works to how white nationalists who were radicalized in Vietnam formed an armored-car robbery gang to finance modems and Apple ][+s to link up neo-Nazis across the USA.

We borrowed the structure of these sessions from science fiction conventions, home to a very specific kind of panel that doesn't always work, but when it does, it's fantastic. It was a natural choice: after all, Ada and I know each other through science fiction.

Even if you're not an sf person, you've probably heard of the Hugo Awards, the most prestigious awards in the field, voted on each year by attendees of the annual World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon). And even if you're not an sf fan, you might have heard about a scandal involving the Hugo Awards, which were held last year in China, a first:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/science-fiction-authors-excluded-hugo-awards-china-rcna139134

A little background: each year's Worldcon is run by a committee of volunteers. These volunteers put together bids to host the Worldcon, and canvass Worldcon attendees to vote in favor of their bid. For many years, a group of Chinese fans attempted to field a successful bid to host a Worldcon, and, eventually, they won.

At the time, there were many concerns: about traveling to a country with a poor human rights record and a reputation for censorship, and about the logistics of customary Worldcon attendees getting visas. During this debate, many international fans pointed to the poor human rights record in the USA (which has hosted the vast majority of Worldcons since their inception), and the absolute ghastly rigmarole the US government subjects many foreign visitors to when they seek visas to come to the US for conventions.

Whatever side of this debate you came down on, it couldn't be denied that the Chinese Worldcon rang a lot of alarm-bells. Communications were spotty, and then the con was unceremoniously rescheduled for months after the original scheduled date, without any good explanation. Rumors swirled of Chinese petty officials muscling their way into the con's administration.

But the real alarm bells started clanging after the Hugo Award ceremony. Normally, after the Hugos are given out, attendees are given paper handouts tallying the nominations and votes, and those numbers are also simultaneously published online. Technically, the Hugo committee has a grace period of some weeks before this data must be published, but at every Worldcon I've attended over the past 30+ years, I left the Hugos with a data-sheet in my hand.

Then, in early December, at the very last moment, the Hugo committee released its data – and all hell broke loose. Numerous, acclaimed works had been unilaterally "disqualified" from the ballot. Many of these were written by writers from the Chinese diaspora, but some works – like an episode of Neil Gaiman's Sandman – were seemingly unconnected to any national considerations.

Readers and writers erupted in outrage, demanding to know what had happened. The Hugo administrators – Americans and Canadians who'd volunteered in those roles for many years and were widely viewed as being members in good standing of the community – were either silent or responded with rude and insulting remarks. One thing they didn't do was explain themselves.

The absence of facts left a void that rumors and speculation rushed in to fill. Stories of Chinese official censorship swirled online, and along with them, a kind of I-told-you-so: China should never have been home to a Worldcon, the country's authoritarian national politics are fundamentally incompatible with a literary festival.

As the outrage mounted and the scandal breached from the confines of science fiction fans and writers to the wider world, more details kept emerging. A damning set of internal leaks revealed that it was those long-serving American and Canadian volunteers who decided to censor the ballot. They did so out of a vague sense that the Chinese state would visit some unspecified sanction on the con if politically unpalatable works appeared on the Hugo ballot. Incredibly, they even compiled clumsy dossiers on nominees, disqualifying one nominee out of a mistaken belief that he had once visited Tibet (it was actually Nepal).

There's no evidence that the Chinese state asked these people to do this. Likewise, it wasn't pressure from the Chinese state that caused them to throw out hundreds of ballots cast by Chinese fans, whom they believed were voting for a "slate" of works (it's not clear if this is the case, but slate voting is permitted under Hugo rules).

All this has raised many questions about the future of the Hugo Awards, and the status of the awards that were given in China. There's widespread concern that Chinese fans involved with the con may face state retaliation due to the negative press that these shenanigans stirred up.

But there's also a lot of questions about censorship, and the nature of both state and private censorship, and the relationship between the two. These are questions that Ada is extremely well-poised to answer; indeed, they're the subject of her book-in-progress, entitled Why We Censor: from the Inquisition to the Internet.

In a magisterial essay for Reactor, Palmer stakes out her central thesis: "The majority of censorship is self-censorship, but the majority of self-censorship is intentionally cultivated by an outside power":

https://reactormag.com/tools-for-thinking-about-censorship/

States – even very powerful states – that wish to censor lack the resources to accomplish totalizing censorship of the sort depicted in Nineteen Eighty-Four. They can't go from house to house, searching every nook and cranny for copies of forbidden literature. The only way to kill an idea is to stop people from expressing it in the first place. Convincing people to censor themselves is, "dollar for dollar and man-hour for man-hour, much cheaper and more impactful than anything else a censorious regime can do."

Ada invokes examples modern and ancient, including from her own area of specialty, the Inquisition and its treatment of Gailileo. The Inquistions didn't set out to silence Galileo. If that had been its objective, it could have just assassinated him. This was cheap, easy and reliable! Instead, the Inquisition persecuted Galileo, in a very high-profile manner, making him and his ideas far more famous.

But this isn't some early example of Inquisitorial Streisand Effect. The point of persecuting Galileo was to convince Descartes to self-censor, which he did. He took his manuscript back from the publisher and cut the sections the Inquisition was likely to find offensive. It wasn't just Descartes: "thousands of other major thinkers of the time wrote differently, spoke differently, chose different projects, and passed different ideas on to the next century because they self-censored after the Galileo trial."

This is direct self-censorship, where people are frightened into silencing themselves. But there's another form of censorship, which Ada calls "middlemen censorship." That's when someone other than the government censors a work because they fear what the government would do if they didn't. Think of Scholastic's cowardly decision to pull inclusive, LGBTQ books out of its book fair selections even though no one had ordered them to do so:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/06/books/scholastic-book-racism-maggie-tokuda-hall.html

This is a form of censorship outsourcing, and it "multiplies the manpower of a censorship system by the number of individuals within its power." The censoring body doesn't need to hire people to search everyone's houses for offensive books – it can frighten editors, publishers, distributors, booksellers and librarians into suppressing the books in the first place.

This outsourcing blurs the line between state and private surveillance. Think about comics. After a series of high-profile Congressional hearings about the supposed danger of comics to impressionable young minds, the comics industry undertook a regime of self-censorship, through which the private Comics Code Authority would vet comings for "dangerous" content before allowing its seal of approval to appear on the comics' covers. Distributors and retailers refused to carry books without a CCA stamp, so publishers refused to publish books unless they could get a CCA stamp.

The CCA was unaccountable, capricious – and racist. By the 60s and 70s, it became clear that comic about Black characters were subjected to much tighter scrutiny than comics featuring white heroes. The CCA would reject "a drop of sweat on the forehead of a Black astronaut as 'too graphic' since it 'could be mistaken for blood.'" Every comic that got sent back by the CCA meant long, brutal reworkings by writers and illustrators to get them past the censors.

The US government never censored heroes like Black Panther, but the chain of events that created the CCA "middleman censors" made sure that Black Panther appeared in far fewer comics starring Marvel's most prominent Black character. An analysis of censorship that tries to draw a line between private and public censorship would say that the government played no role in Black Panther's banishment to obscurity – but without Congressional action, Black Panther would never have faced censorship.

This is why attempts to cleanly divide public and private censorship always break down. Many people will tell you that when Twitter or Facebook blocks content they disagree with, that's not censorship, since censorship is government action, and these are private actors. What they mean is that Twitter and Facebook censorship doesn't violate the First Amendment, but it's perfectly possible to infringe on free speech without violating the US Constitution. What's more, if the government fails to prevent monopolization of our speech forums – like social media – and also declines to offer its own public speech forums that are bound to respect the First Amendment, we can end up with government choices that produce an environment in which some ideas are suppressed wherever they might find an audience – all without violating the Constitution:

https://locusmag.com/2020/01/cory-doctorow-inaction-is-a-form-of-action/

The great censorious regimes of the past – the USSR, the Inquisition – left behind vast troves of bureaucratic records, and these records are full of complaints about the censors' lack of resources. They didn't have the manpower, the office space, the money or the power to erase the ideas they were ordered to suppress. As Ada notes, "In the period that Spain’s Inquisition was wildly out of Rome’s control, the Roman Inquisition even printed manuals to guide its Inquisitors on how to bluff their way through pretending they were on top of what Spain was doing!"

Censors have always done – and still do – their work not by wielding power, but by projecting it. Even the most powerful state actors are not powerful enough to truly censor, in the sense of confiscating every work expressing an idea and punishing everyone who creates such a work. Instead, when they rely on self-censorship, both by individuals and by intermediaries. When censors act to block one work and not another, or when they punish one transgressor while another is free to speak, it's tempting to think that they are following some arcane ruleset that defines when enforcement is strict and when it's weak. But the truth is, they censor erratically because they are too weak to censor comprehensively.

Spectacular acts of censorship and punishment are a performance, "to change the way people act and think." Censors "seek out actions that can cause the maximum number of people to notice and feel their presence, with a minimum of expense and manpower."

The censor can only succeed by convincing us to do their work for them. That's why drawing a line between state censorship and private censorship is such a misleading exercise. Censorship is, and always has been, a public-private partnership.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/22/self-censorship/#hugos

#pluralistic #ada palmer #worldcon #hugos #china #science fiction #fanac #publishing #censorship #systems of information control during information revolutions #scholarship

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vicmillen · 7 months ago

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Pros and Cons of Hiding in Gotham

[A short debate among Team Phantom]

Pros of them staying in Gotham:

Sam would vibe so much with the Gothic architecture. And Poison Ivy.

Ambient ectoplasm level is pretty high, for a whole city that GIW doesn't have power in.

Danny and Tucker would vibe with WE stuff.

Enough chaos AND vigilantes that Danny can help out his obsession without it being a burden or standing out. Probably, hopefully.

Permission to stay from Lady Gotham. Not without a price, but whatever.

Jack Maddie and Vald allegedly started their cursed research at Gotham U. Not that it's terribly relevant.

The city is covered in a blanket of chaotic ecto signature, courtesy of Lady Gotham and the numerous deaths, so it's hard to track anything ecto down.

Jazz wanna work in Arkham, for some bizarre reason.

Cons of them staying in Gotham:

No stars in the sky :(

Bats. Bats and birds everywhere. getting into stuff they shouldn't be in.

Risk of Sam joining the villain roster with Ivy.

Lady Gotham is a possessive bitch Spirit, and Danny can't leave before finishing Lady Gotham's request.

...

Seriously tho is that it?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #team phantom #gotham #they forgot to put the clown in the cons list #but it's not that big of a deal really

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sevsgiirl · 1 day ago

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— do the girls back home touch you like I do?

sevika x insecure!reader. men and minors dni.

synopsis: having feelings for the most feared woman in zaun had more cons than it did pros - her being popular amongst women and a regular at the brothel just to name a few. it hurt because you knew with her history there’s no way she’d return your feelings… right?

word count: 5.5k words.

tags: insecure!reader, jealousy, miscommunication, public sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering, porn with feelings, top!sevika, bottom!reader.

it was silly, honestly.

you knew it was a shot in the dark for sevika to reciprocate your feelings. much or less consider you an option on her roster.

sevika gets around. there was no denying that, and you’ve come to terms with it the second you caught these stupid little feelings that just wouldn’t go away. no matter how hard you tried.

you assumed it would. back when silco hired you to be his informant, you saw the opportunity as nothing more but an upgrade from your previous jobs. it’s safe to say, you’ve gone through a lot just to get to where you are now. whether it was scrubbing the floors of a dingy, run-down diner that made jericho’s look like a michelin star restaurant, to going as far as thinking about working at babette’s.

but then silco saw some potential in you that not a lot of people have seen before, and you were grateful for it. a lot of your co-workers were tolerable, just as long as you looked past the carnage of their jobs, it was pretty easy to get by when working for silco because he never really asked you to get your hands dirty.

no, he asked sevika to do that.

you knew she was different from the others the second you laid eyes on her. she remained unyielding in the eyes of catastrophe, she gets the job done no matter how tedious the assignments were, and she navigates through life like an enigma.

you were intimidated by her at first. when she walked into a room, her presence demanded to be felt, crowds of people would always make space for her to walk through and she could silence someone with just the heat of her glare. it was then you understood why she was silco’s number two.

but despite her brooding personality, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards her. maybe it was the allure of wanting something you can’t have, but every time you were sent on a mission with her, this desire to know her better always tempted you. even though you wouldn’t know the first thing to say to strike up a conversation with the older woman, you couldn’t deny that what you felt was beyond just physical attraction. you were intrigued by everything about her.

it tethered the line of obsession but hadn’t quite got there yet, the better way to describe it was infatuation.

she’d occupy your thoughts but not so much to the point that she was all you thought about, but when you did, you had to force yourself to snap out of it before it became borderline creepy, and you wanted to justify your feelings thinking she wouldn’t feel the same in a million years.

not only that, but her reputation precedes her.

you knew your hesitation to make a move stemmed more from just being shy or thinking you wouldn’t get along with the older woman, and it was because her sexual proclivities scared the hell out of you.

again, she gets around, far more than most people. before you worked for silco, rumors regarding his second in command traveled through the streets of zaun in whispers, whether it was good or bad, it didn’t really matter.

one detail that caught the attention of many, specifically those of women, were her frequent nights spent at the gardens. you couldn’t deny that aside from being incredibly scary, so much of sevika’s appeal came from her appearance as well - her tall stature, impressive built, corded muscles, the rigged lines and hard angles of her face. she was just as beautiful as she was domineering.

that’s why it didn’t surprise you that women tend to set aside her notoriety in hopes of sleeping with her, but that doesn’t mean the thought didn’t cause your insides to flare up with jealousy.

as mentioned, you thought about working for babette at one point. when your low paying jobs in the past couldn’t suffice to get you through the week, the idea came to mind on some occasions. but you knew it wasn’t easy work, not to mention your looks paled in comparison to the girls you’d seen working there. all slim waists, toned arms, long legs, big tits and even bigger asses.

you didn’t possess any of the traits that made the girls there appealing.

you just set aside the idea because your ego wasn’t big enough to make you think you were up for the job, and knowing that’s where sevika prefers to spend most of her nights made your insecurities worse.

especially when she’d stroll through the last drop late at night littered with hickeys and bite marks around her neck that she’d let the world see without shame, and how you’d just ogle at them with the ugliest emotions churning in the pits of your stomach.

it didn’t help when silco’s men would poke fun at her for it “damn, was the night that rough? you gotta take it easy on those girls.” they’d joke as a sly grin would make its way on her face.

“they love it,” would be her response, which would earn a roar of laughter from the group meanwhile you’d walk away after eavesdropping, with a heaviness in your chest that wasn’t there minutes ago as you tried to erase the image of sevika indulging herself with countless women.

you understood the intention behind it. you knew it was her way of escaping the stress of silco’s workload, and having sex with multiple women was just as much of a coping mechanism as gambling and drinking was.

that doesn’t mean it wasn’t any less painful to think about, even though you knew you couldn’t have stood a chance.

because how could you? who even were you in the bustling, chaotic world that is sevika’s life? if simply nothing more than just her co-worker?

𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚

you didn’t think she’d ever acknowledge you outside of work.

you’ve had your fair share of interactions but it was all professional so those don’t count. you were delusional but you weren’t delusional enough to think that your quick conversations about paychecks and shipment were considered bonding.

it wasn’t until an incident transpired in one of her missions where silco asked you to come along, and it so happened that the firelights decided it was a good day to ambush you, sevika and the rest of the team.

you cowered away from the commotion because it’s not like you possessed any of sevika’s combative skills. you were an informant, for crying out loud.

but you weren’t quick on your feet, and when the leader of the firelights threw one of their bombs in your direction you were crystallized in place near the cargos, unable to move.

you knew the crystals would dissolve after five minutes, you were aware of how their weapons worked, but the fear of being unable to move still stressed you out, and as you kept squirming you caught sevika’s eye who was immobilized herself.

one thing led to another, silco’s daughter came up from underneath the airship and began firing at the firelights, grazing you with one of her bullets as you let out an agonizing scream in response.

suffice to say, the mission went horribly and everyone who go out was reprimanded by silco, because of course he’d never put the blame on jinx. while you on the other hand, were hunched over the bar later that night, nursing your sides that were still bleeding due to jinx’s mishap.

thieram was more than happy to help, aiding you with your injury but your pain tolerance wasn’t necessarily high, so every time he dabbed you with the wash cloth dunked in alcohol, you couldn’t help it as you let out a wince, clutching thieram’s forearm.

“I’m sorry,” he said, cringing at your pitiful state “I don’t know how-“

“move it.”

your eyes widened as the shadow of sevika’s tall silhouette casted over you, pushing past thieram while she took the bottle of alcohol and cloth from him. she nodded at you for you to raise your shirt up.

“let me see the wound,”

blushing, you were debating whether or not you should let sevika see you in such a compromising position, but she probably only wanted to help and couldn’t care less about seeing you exposed.

so you did as you were told and let her press her large palm onto your rib where a lot of the bleeding came from.

you hissed, gripping the sides of the bar and sevika cursed “fucking jinx,”

you shook your head “it’s okay, it’s not that big of a de-“

“but it is,” she grumbled “if only she did her fucking job and didn’t lose her shit, maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

gulping, you tried not to overthink her choice of words and how she only focused on your injury and not the rest, considering you weren’t the only one who got the brunt of it.

“it’s fine, I’m just worried if the others are tending to their injuries.”

“don’t worry about them,” she muttered “they’re built for these kinds of things, you aren’t.”

you snickered, pretending to take offense “excuse me? are you calling me weak?”

sevika couldn’t hide her amusement, wiping away at the little blood smeared on your lower stomach.

“not weak,” she replied “I just don’t think a pretty little thing like you is meant for this kind of work. you’re not equipped for it.”

“I can look out for myself, you know.”

she hummed, her grey eyes staring up at you “maybe, but still. it’d be better if you didn’t need to.”

you tried not to let her words get to you, and calling you a pretty little thing didn’t help with your growing infatuation. perhaps she was just playing coy with you, you thought.

but then silco continued to let you join in on her missions, and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart fluttered every time she’d ask you to ‘keep close behind’ or how she’d shield you with her massive frame every time danger was imminent.

if she couldn’t trust you to look out for yourself, then she did it for you.

you wanted to excuse it thinking since she’s already lost so much men she didn’t want your name to be crossed off on the list as well. but that doesn’t mean you stopped dwelling on it.

especially when on most nights where she’d catch you in the last drop, she’d ask you to have a drink with her. going as far as to teach you how to play cards when you’d watch her gamble with the rest of silco’s men and how she’d win every time.

“you’re so good at this,” you said in awe during one of her games which earned a chuckle from her.

you were seated right next to sevika, not too close but not too far apart either, that sometimes you’d feel her elbow brushing against yours.

“want me to teach you then?”

“hey, that’s not fair, how come she gets to have you as her teacher while we’re stuck here getting our asses beat?” one of the men she was playing with chided in.

she only ignored him, flipping her cards over to reveal she’s won yet again, making them groan “then play better.” she quipped, turning over to you with a smirk on her face.

you swore butterflies almost erupted out of your belly. she was so smug, but radiant in her victory that you couldn’t even bring yourself too feel bad for the others, if you’d get to see her this way all the time, you hoped she’d win all of her games.

the guy huffed, taking a swig from his beer as he looked up at her, grinning “I dropped by the gardens today, by the way. lily said she missed you.”

you froze as those words left his mouth, but sevika remained ambivalent by the information as she shuffled her cards “I’ve just had a lot on my plate,” and perhaps it was just your mind playing tricks on you, but you swore you caught her eyeing you for a brief moment.

“well, better not to keep those girls waiting. you know you’re their favorite,” the table laughed and sevika couldn’t help herself from joining along.

“ain’t that right,” she said, chuckling.

you gulped, feeling a lump in your throat as you forced yourself not to spew something bitter because really, who were you to act jealous over who sevika chooses to spend her time with?

she may act flirtatious with you from time to time but it’s not like it meant anything. you wanted to set it aside, and tell yourself it was just never going to happen. spend less time with her if you need to.

but as if it fate wanted to play a joke on you both, that was thrown out the window when one night, sevika came stumbling into the last drop all battered and bruised. her prosthetic dangling from her arm in ruined wires while she tried her best to steady herself as she walked in.

instinctively, you rushed to her side and examined her state “sevika, oh my god.”

she groaned “it’s not a big de-“

“like hell it is,” you reprimanded as you told thieram to fetch the first aid kit and inform silco of sevika’s condition.

she was against it but you simply silenced her, pulling up a chair as you pushed her down “you need to be more careful.” you said.

“stop fussing over me, I’m built for these kinds of things. it’s my job.”

“just because it’s your job doesn’t mean you have to be so reckless! you’re more than just silco’s killing machine. you can’t keep putting your life on the line like this.”

sevika remained silent before soft laughter bubbled out of her, making you raise an eyebrow.

“I guess this makes us even.”

“what?”

“from when you got hit by jinx’s bullets,” she said as realization dawned on you “I guess we’re even now.“

you rolled your eyes at that “I’m not doing this because I owe it to you. you’re more than just my co-worker.”

she eyed you, curious “what am I then?”

there was a moment of silence as you knelt down in front of her, staring at the uneven lines of the wooden floorboards, refusing to meet her eye.

“a friend, if you’d let me,” you muttered.

she hummed, leaning against her seat “I don’t do much of those,”

you snickered “you don’t do much of anything really,”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

you realized your mistake but decided to keep it going anyways.

“you’re too guarded. you keep your circle too tight, and I haven’t really seen you out with anyone. romantically, I mean.”

you knew you should’ve kept your mouth shut, but you couldn’t help it.

she was silent for a minute “I didn’t know you kept tabs on whether or not I date.”

you scoffed, although it sounded unconvincing “I do not.”

then there was that god awful smirk on her face again, eating away at you as she cocked her head to the side.

“sure you don’t, princess.“

your mind immediately went haywire because oh god, did she know?

on one hand, you weren’t exactly subtle. even thieram would tease you about it. noticing the way you’d sneak glances at sevika whenever she strolled through the bar and you’d hear him let out a snort from behind the counter.

“take a picture, it’d last longer.” he’d joke while you flipped him off.

but judging by the way she teased you about the idea, you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that felt a bit hopeful that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance.

because if there was, it wouldn’t hurt to try and seize the opportunity.

𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚

when silco suggested the group had a day off and to use the bar to their liking for one night as compensation for a successful mission, you were elated. for a number of reasons.

because this is it. this is the moment that you’ve been waiting for, to finally make a move and to squash your fantasies once and for all.

you’re aware about wanting to keep your feelings at bay and to never let sevika know about them, but as the days flew by it was getting harder and harder to stay silent.

especially since the night you tended to her injuries and how she reacted at the idea of you taking an interest in her, and how she didn’t seemed fazed by it, if anything, she seemed intrigued.

it was worth a shot, because it’s better to say you tried than not at all.

so on the night of the party, you went out of your way to doll yourself up for once. your days were normally mundane and your job was tedious enough as it, so you never saw a reason to dress up. living in the under city, going out partying and sleeping with people was scarcely something you ever thought about.

but that doesn’t mean you never anticipated it, and so you went digging under your closet for the handful of dresses you’ve stolen from a couple of boutiques in topside. something you kept for special occasions and this was one of them.

you settled for a black halter dress that stopped below your thighs and also accentuated your cleavage, along with a pair of sheer dark tights that allowed you space to move around freely.

you rummaged through your drawers and pulled out a couple of broken makeup pallets, likely expired, but you didn’t really care as you meticulously dabbed silver eyeshadow on yourself and applied some red lipstick.

you inspected yourself on your mirror and let out an approving hum. you looked nice. you didn’t really consider yourself drop dead gorgeous but when you made some effort to make yourself presentable, the pay-off was worth it.

your chest swelled with hope thinking maybe this will be the day sevika sees you, really sees you. not just as a co-worker, friend, but someone worthy to replace the girls at the gardens with…

with that, you slipped on your combat boots and strode out of your apartment building, walking through the streets of zaun and not minding the lewd comments thrown your way by the men passing by you.

you showed up at the last drop and one of the bouncers, after taking a good look at you, opened the door for you while shooting you a sly grin.

perhaps you’ve outdone yourself, or maybe the people around you just weren’t used to seeing you all dressed up but either way, their reactions stroked your ego. all that’s left now was to just find sevika.

you made your up to the bar where thieram was busy serving drinks, and he didn’t recognize you at first until you called out to him.

he blinked as he said your name “damn, is it really you?” he chuckled “you look great.”

“thanks,” you said, smiling “I never had the chance to wear something like this before but since silco is in a good mood…”

“and it suits you. everyone’s eyeing you like a piece of meat, I don’t know if you can tell.”

“yeah, well. they don’t matter,” you looked around “where’s sevika, by the way?”

because she was the only one that mattered.

she was the reason why you even showed up looking like this, why you got out of your comfort zone even though these types of settings weren’t your thing, but you tried, because you wanted to prove yourself to her.

thieram turned to the side and pointed to his left “she arrived about an hour ago.”

you stood up and were about make your way towards her when the sight that greeted you quickly stopped you dead in your tracks, all previous excitement dying as you sunk to the nearest stool.

because there, in her usual booth, sat sevika with not one, but two girls cozied up against her sides while one of them was practically sitting on her lap, and the other was kissing along her neck while a cigarillo was dangling from her mouth. making more room for them to grind against her as she whispered in one of their ears, causing the girl to giggle as she grabbed sevika’s jaw and connected their lips.

you took a step back as your chest begun to feel heavy, while the room suddenly felt ten times more crowded as you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the scene in front of you because of course, this just had to happen.

how dare you think you had a chance when she went out of her way to bring two of babette’s girls to this blasted party when she already visits them on a regular basis. how dare you think you ever stood a chance against these girls, with their pristine clothing, nicely styled hair and perfect bodies.

you wanted the world to swallow you whole.

“hey, you okay?” thieram asked as your breathing became shallow.

you nodded, harshly swiping the tears that threatened to spill at the corners of your eyes as you walked back to the exit.

“y-yeah, I’m just-“

in your stupor, you didn’t even realize a man was behind you not until you bumped into him, causing him to spill his drink and cuss you out as you started apologizing, creating a commotion.

“I’m so sorry!” you said, your cheeks heating up as you looked around the room before your eyes landed on her again.

but this time, sevika was staring straight at you.

swallowing nervously, you pushed past the sea of people and made your way out of the bar, not even bothering to say goodbye to thieram as you busted through the doors of the back exit, breathing heavily as you slid against the wall of the bar, with your hands on your knees and your tears ruining your makeup.

you should’ve known this was a mistake. you mentally scolded yourself over and over because who were you fooling when you thought sevika would spare a glance your way? even if you dolled yourself up, in the end sevika had countless of women to choose from, and you were never going to be an option. no matter how hard you tried.

stewing in self-pity, you wiped away at your cheeks and stood back up, planning to just head back home and forget the night even happened when the doors of the bar suddenly burst open, making you jump as you whipped around, and your breath hitched when you were met with sevika’s steely grey eyes.

she assessed your frenzied state, staring just a bit longer at your attire, scanning your legs up to your thighs until it stopped at your chest, which was heaving erratically, drawing attention to your cleavage.

“leaving so soon?” she quipped, not hiding the shameful way she was ogling at you “especially when you look this pretty?”

biting your tongue, you tried so hard not to let her words get to you. no. this is what she does, she butters you up and makes you think you have a chance then she turns around and makes you feel like utter shit. this is what she does and you’re not going to sit around making an idiot out of yourself.

“I’m just not feeling good is all.” you said as you attempted to walk past her.

but you were immediately stopped when she grabbed your arm, though her touch was gentle “let me walk you home. it’s not safe especially when you’re out here dressed like that.”

you couldn’t stop yourself, you were filled with so much unnecessary bitterness that as soon as those words left her mouth, you could only scoff before ripping away your arm, causing her to look at you with her eyebrow raised.

“I can handle myself, just go back to those girls that were all over you. it seemed like you were having a great time with them anyways.” you spat, attempting to bristle past her.

however, you gasped when she not only blocked your path but abruptly pushed your body against the wall of the building. not too harsh but with enough force to make you look up at her in compliance.

she towered over your smaller form and took your chin using her prosthetic hand, her metal fingers making you shiver as her breath mingled with your own.

“what’s with the attitude?”

“just let me go-“

“the fuck I will,” she cut you off, her tone harsh “now, I’ll ask again, what’s with the attitude? you’re never like this.”

you clenched your jaw “never like what? you don’t even know me enough to make assumptions of how I normally act.”

“like a bitch is what I’m saying,” she said through her teeth “seriously, what crawled up your ass? you show up looking like this and you can’t even be bothered to stick around let alone have a drink,”

“why should I?” you shook your head “you looked too busy anyways. just forget it and go back to those-“

“what’s with you and the girls I brough-“

“because why waste your time on me?” the dam finally broke, and all your thoughts came flooding out as sevika blinked at you, dumbfounded “you never give me the time of the day even though we’ve been working for so long, and it had to take me getting injured for you to even strike up a conversation with me. you’re always at the gardens and I know it’s none of my business what you do with your time but just…”

you looked to your feet, regret washing in “just forget it. it’s so stupid.”

however, her grip on you only tightened “no, you’re right. it is none of your business, that’s why I want to know why you’re acting this way. I’m not a mind reader, princess. you can’t expect me to know what you want and you haven’t really made it easy either. you think I wanted to wait that long to approach you? talking goes both ways. and you avoiding me so much in the past hasn’t really given me the chance to get to know you. fuck, I even thought…”

you waited for her to finish as she faced away from you “thought what?” you said, your voice merely a whisper.

she sighed as she pressed her body closer to you “I thought you didn’t like me. you never a spoke a word to me but I’ve always noticed you. you’re so good at your job but you only kept to yourself. I just thought you found me and the others too vulgar. I get it. we’re different. but then you had a drink with me and you seemed genuinely interested…”

you inhaled sharply “I was, and still am.”

“then what’s the matter? why are you acting like you’re disgusted with me all of a sudden?”

“it’s not you! it’s just…” you let out a shaky breath “it’s just hard to be around you because I’ve always noticed you too. I was just intimidated but I’ve admired your work ethic, just everything about you really, so much that I even… god, it’s embarrassing.”

“no,” she pulled you closer “tell me,”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, looking away “it’s silly.”

she lifted her flesh hand and pushed away the strands of hair that fell over your face. leaning closer that you felt her lips brush against your cheek.

“you got a little crush on me is what you’re saying?” her mouth quirked into a teasing grin as you groaned, trying to push her away.

“you’re such an ass…” you muttered as her hands slowly maneuvered down to your thighs, and suddenly, she was lifting you by her arms and against the wall as you squealed.

her nose nudged your jaw, leaving a soft kiss underneath and your hands found purchase on her strong shoulders.

“you should’ve told me sooner…” she purred, her voice deep and enticing “it would’ve saved me a hell lot of money from visiting the gardens when I could’ve had you all this time.”

you weren’t given the chance to speak when she suddenly captured your lips in a fervent kiss, making you gasp as she lets out a growl hearing your needy whines.

eventually, you surrendered to it, moving in sync with the frenzied way she was kissing you. almost as if she was just as desperate for this as you were.

you rolled your hips against her torso and sevika lets out a chuckle at your urgency, taking your legs as she wrapped them around her waist.

she took the ends of your dress and pulled them up, tearing your tights down and you let out a whine “s-sev… we’re outside-“

“then let them hear,” her breathing was staggered from all the movement “I’ve waited for this for so long.“

you bit your lip “yeah?”

she nodded, slipping your tights off your legs and discarding them to the side “if you think whatever feelings you’ve had for me was one-sided, you thought wrong.” she kissed your lips with bruising force and you could only moan against her mouth “ever since I laid eyes on silco’s pretty little informant, you’ve always been on my mind.”

her fingers felt down your covered cunt, and you writhed against her palm as she pushed past the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them off, teasing you as your slick met her calloused fingers, making her head spin “you’ve been waiting for this haven’t you, princess?” she asked softly.

you nodded as you begun soaking her palm with your juices, riding her fingers and she parted your folds, thumbing at your clit before she slid one finger in, feeling at your gummy walls before adding a second finger and soon, she was scissoring them in you as your forehead dropped to her shoulder.

jostling in her hold as your body shook, she curled her fingers and started a slow pace that got you moaning her name, and she nodded at your desperate sounds “yeah, that’s it, baby. let everybody know how much you needed this.”

she bent her head down and nipped at your jaw while you humped her scarred hand in earnest “you should’ve fucking told me sooner. do you know how much torture it was to see you walk around the office, all pretty and shy, and not wanting to make a move because I thought you didn’t like me? when all this time your tight little pussy has been weeping for me to fill it.”

you cried out, getting closer to that awaited peak especially when she starts to piston her thick fingers inside you at a maddening speed “I needed this so much, sev. fuck.” you admitted, completely lack of shame.

“I know, baby. now that I know how much you’ve needed this I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” she said and you opened your tear stained eyes to look at her.

“do I feel better than the girls you’ve had before?” you whispered and she nodded, an urgency to it as if she wanted to drill it inside your head that she means every word.

“fuck yeah, baby. I can’t wait to have you in every way that I like. on my tongue, around my fingers…” you let out the most obscene moan at her words “and my cock.”

your orgasm tore through you like a punch to the gut, your mouth falling open into a guttural cry as you creamed against her fingers while she kept curling them inside you, already feeling overstimulated while she talked you through it.

“that’s it…” she said in awe “you feel so good, baby.”

she slowly pulled her fingers out of you and you whined at the loss. but your eyes widened when suddenly sevika planted your wobbly legs down onto the ground and knelt down in front of you and started lapping away at your soaked pussy, her pupils blown wide as she began cleaning you up.

once she was done, she stood up and helped you into your underwear, breathing heavily before connecting her lips with yours. you melted as you tasted yourself on her tongue and the kiss was warmer, gentler this time.

she pulled away, leaning her forehead against yours “let me take you out?”

it took a while for your mind to process her words, still fuzzy from the aftermath of your orgasm but once it sunk in, you could only chuckle as you smiled up at her.

“usually you’d ask that first then try to have sex with me in an alley…”

there was a playful glint in her eyes “what can I say, I couldn’t wait any longer.”

you hummed, cupping her face as you drew her in for another kiss.

“yeah, me neither.”

#sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika x y/n #arcane #arcane smut #wlw smut #arcane fanfiction #lesbian #sapphic #dividers by fairytopea

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zombiecare-rot-art · 11 months ago

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Glamrock Bonnie finally joins my fnaf charm roster!!! I included the others because I just now realized I never posted my art from them after what like 2/3 years?!? You can also tell that Bonnie is made after them from how my art has changed lol

Selling at Saboten-con I don't have an online shop yet. Have yet to get past how intimidating shipping is

#fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf fanart #dca fanart #glamrock bonnie #glamrock freddy #glamrock chica #roxanne wolf #montgomery gator #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #sundrop #moondrop #zombiecarerotsart #fnaf security breach

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lacilou · 9 months ago

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Best heart hands.

📸: RosterCon

#jared padalecki #roster con #paris #spn family #heart hands #baby boy

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thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask · 4 months ago

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Paid Internship (Part 2)(Prison AU)

Author's Note: This is a Prison AU that the viewers of my blog seem to be pretty fond of. The main focuses for the romance parts will differ depending on the part. The reader is gender neutral and uses She/He stuff, but sometimes depending on what's going on I'll use stuff like Tits. Also, Sully will be in the fic, but I won't use his name. Pay attention to how Liu talks.

Author's Note 2: If you wanna be tagged for part three, leave a comment, or reblog.

Series Summary: Welcome to your paid internship at Roosevelt Federal Prison. After being seen for your potential and skills by your instructor at the Academy, he decided to give you opportunity of working in the US' most dangerous prison despite the disapproval and rejection from the higher ups. However, due to miscommunication and faulty paperwork, you're gonna up working with some of America's most danger serial killers for the semester.

Warnings: Implied Non-con, Murder, Lying, Deception, Descriptions of crimes, Perversion, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Gore, Sadism, Violence, Implied Nudity, Mocking, Humilation, Threats, Mood Swings, PTSD, Alcohol, Mental Illness, Dealings, Attempted Murder, Cursing, Sleep Deprived Workers, Stress, Agression, and More. This AU is not for the faint of heart.

Links: {Part 1} {Masterlist} {Series Concept}

"Oh god, what would Gibbons think of me if he saw me doing this," You said, rubbing you eyes as you stood infront of the door separating you from the inmates.

Liu didn't even tell you what Jeff stole from him, for all you know this could be some sick set up to get you hurt. However, you were slowly growing desperate. Toby's implication that Abbie Grace was still alive was filling you up with concern, she could be alive and out there, terrified, alone, probably hurt. Liu promised to tell you what he knew about Abbie if you gave him whatever Jeff stole.

Getting into solitary wasn't going to be easy. When you were first brought in, you saw a large line of men running into the ward. Based on this, your best assumption was that mostly security personnel were allowed in the ward, and if officers were let in, it was most likely with some kind of clearance. (A clearance you didn't have.)

"Ok Y/N, think, think. What are the pros of doing this... you get info from Liu, but he's already on your roster, meaning you'll be interviewing him some time down the road. But, he seems stubborn, so he won't tell me anything easily. You get to explore solitary! But, there's an extremely high risk that you'll get caught, expelled from the academy, fired from your internship, and most likely get charges placed against you."

You almost took back the deal. Almost.

"But if you don't fuck up, if you do everything right, if you solve this case, you'll be legend. You'll...get praise from Gibbons, from mom, from...," You paused, looking up with a shine in your eyes. "From...dad. I'm doing this."

Walking away from the inmates quarters, you made your way back to the little office Mandel assigned you. Closing the door as you entered, you looked at the little map posted up against the wall, looking for any security storage rooms.

Your plan may seem crazy, but it could work. Your plan was to somehow sneak into a security room, put on a uniform, grab some gear, find a keycard, and get into solitary. You'd be lucky if you even found the security room. The map was hard to understand, nothing was written in words, instead they used symbols as labels for rooms. You assumed that the orange coat for a symbol for some kind of inmate section.

"What would a symbol for the security room look like?" You asked yourself as you looked at the map.

Suddenly, you flinched at the sound of knocking coming from your door.

"INTERN! YOU IN THERE?" A masculine voice yelled from the other side.

Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. You couldn't but admit that you were a little on edge. What if they caught you sneaking into the inmate quarters through the cameras (But now do you think about it, where there any cameras to begin with?). That idea sent you into a panic, but you did your best to keep a neutral composure.

Opening the door, you were greeted by a large man. If you had the guess, he was probably was around 6'3, 6'4. You didn't take note of his appearance however, because you were more distracted by the large gun in his hand, and the large word "SECURITY" written on his chest.

"Um, can I help you?"

"Do you have a TV in here? We're checking all offices and rooms."

"...Yeah, why you ask?"

Without saying another word, the man pushed you to the side and grabbed the large TV from the corner.

"Hey! Dude! I need that," You stated, Marching towards the man as he lifted up the TV.

"Don't know if you got the news, intern, but any technology is strictly forbidden on prison grounds."

"...A prison...with no tech? How the hell is this legal, hell, how is this safe?"

The guard didn't say another word, walking off with the TV as you chased after him.

"If it's not allowed, why did I get it in the first place, hm?"

"From some dumbass I bet. Now, leave me alone; I have more bullshit I gotta deal with for the night."

Giving up on trying to get information from the security guard, you watched as he walked off into the distance. But, what he failed to notice was the fact that you were able to steal his keycard from his pocket. One of you cousins was a notorious thief back where you grew up, and he taught you a thing or two about pickpocketing.

"Never knew that dumbass' methods would work," You joked to yourself before quickly making your way to your office.

Opening the door, you took one last look at the map. After a few seconds of quick skimming, you saw the security room wasn't too far from the inmates quarters. It was a few doors down from the entrance to solitary, a pretty smart and convenient spot to hold the room.

Doing a quick check of your surroundings, you locked the door to your office and casually made your way to the security desk. You learned from when you snuck into the inmates' quarters. Even though you were an intern, looking scared and nervous drew attention, making you look suspicious, but if you kept a casual and calm expression, no one would suspect a thing!

"Just stay calm. Stay. Calm," You mumbled to yourself as you used the stolen keycard to open the door leading to the office area you saw when you first walked into the pasta section of the prison.

Taking a left, you did another skim of your surroundings before opening the security door and quietly making your way in. However, the first thing you were met with was the strong smell of sweat and iron.

"Shit...it smells like a high school locker room," You groaned as you pinched your nose. "Jesus...never heard of deodorant."

The security room was set up like a locker room. A few random uniforms were hanged against the wall with various numbers indicating their sizes placed above them. Some were hanged neatly, while others looked like they were placed in a rush. On the opposite side of the room, locked up in a glass container, where various guns, cuffs, shields, and batons. Even though the weapons were placed behind, hopefully, bullet proof glass, you couldn't help but feel like the glass wasn't going to prevent anything from being stolen. One thing you didn't notice at first was how dim the lighting in the room was. It wasn't so dark you couldn't see, but it was dark enough for some things to be barley noticeable. The last thing you cared enough to note was on the wall directly infront of you, a few lockers had their locks still open, meaning either someone was going to be back soon to get something, or someone forgot to close it, either way, you didn't want to stay long enough to find out.

Grabbing the uniform that looked like it would fit you best, you quickly changed into the security uniform. Looking at yourself in the mirror, the uniform was practically riot gear. Using the keycard to open the glass, you grabbed one of the guns from off the wall.

Walking out of the room, you took a deep breath before quickly making your way to solitary.

Opening the door, you instantly felt a shift in the atmosphere. Outside of solitary, there was always some kind of noise. May it be the sound of people walking, the noise the lights made, or just random white noise, there was always something. But here, here it was dead quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. For some reason, you felt terrified to even make a single noise, to take a single step, hell, to even take a single breath. You felt regret hit you like a bus, you could feel your body begging you to go back, to take off the uniform, to figure out Abby'a case without Liu's advice, to do anything but fucking continue in solitary, but the idea of getting praise from Gibbons for solving such a hard cause, the idea of making your parents proud, the idea to prove to everyone at the Academy that you were capable of handling this internship blinded you from your body's judgment. So, as if your body went on autopilot, you started your journey down the halls.

The sound of the heavy boots of the uniform echoed throughout the hallway. Solitary was very bright and clean, walls perfectly white, and the lights lacked the ugly yellow tint the other parts of the prison had. It was such a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the prison. Not only that, but you haven't seen a single prisoner yet. All the rooms you walked past were either empty or locked, none of them had a single sign of life in there. So, it left you wondering, was anyone even supervising the prisoners? None of the rooms were labeled, none of them. No signs telling you were to go, nothing. So, if someone found you wondering around like a duckling without its mother, you'd be caught red handed.

"Hey! You!"

Flinching at the loud and sudden noise, you slowly turned around as you saw a woman dressed as a nurse power walking towards you.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to dealing with Jeffery."

"Jeffery?"

"Yes! Ever since he's came back from his interview with that intern he's been out of control. He bit a chunk out of Elisa's arm when she tried to give him his medication. And his behavior starting to get...Ben relied up, and we can't have that! I refuse to deal with that fucking freak again."

"Oh shit... Where's Jeffery right now?"

"In his room left of here, just follow the noise."

"Ok."

"Thanks. Now I have to deal with a few injured prisoners in the normal section, have Goosemen radio me if things get bad."

As the nurse walked off, or more so ran off, you quickly took a left and followed the faint noise of screams and laughter.

What you saw made a chill go down your spine.

Jeff was running around his room with three security personnel chasing him as a nurse yelled for Jeff to calm down. Unlike earlier, Jeff's mouth was bleeding, his shirt tied around his waist as he ran around, revealing the fresh scratches all around his arm and chest, and for a quick second, you saw the flash of something shiny on his back.

"Jeffery! Please sit down and take you medicine! Afterwards you'll be left alone for the night, ok!?" The nurse yelled as she waved a bottle a pill in the air. "We've been at this for hours...tasers don't work, pepper spray don't work, and we can't shoot him nor use fear..."

"Is this common?" You asked, catching the nurse's attention.

"When he first got here it was, but he hasn't acted like this in years. Even when he didn't take his medicine, he wouldn't act like this."

"Maybe he's getting bored," A guard commented, causing the nurse to nod her head in consideration.

"Maybe, or maybe it was that intern. I don't know what happened when they spoke, but maybe they said something to cause him to act like this," The nurse said, a look of annoyance written on her face.

The nurse's statement made your blood run cold. After all the events that happened in the past few hours, you were starting to accept the fact you weren't the most liked by the staff.

"What did I even do?" You thought, a look of hurt and confusion in your eyes. "They don't even know what I look like!"

"I'm going to talk to Mandel about getting them off this case, or even out of this section in general. I don't know what Gibbons sees in them, but things where running as smoothly as they can run until they showed up, and now all the prisoners are acting up."

"Fresh meat," The guard added, causing the nurse to chuckle.

"Fresh meat in deed, sharks they are."

"Hey, it's their first day, give the kid some slack. Once the prisoners get used to their presence they'll simmer down," You said, shifting your gaze over to the various cells in the hallway.

"I hope you're right."

As you looked at the various cells, one cell in particular stood out. It was at the very end of the hallway, the light right above it flickering rapidly. Not only was it locked with a different kind of door, instead having the ones with a simple hole with a few metal bars to peek through and a small hole to slide food in, the entire thing was closed, no one could peek in or out. It was also kept shut with a wheel, and alongside the wheel was a bunch of chains, each tie holding a different lock. Whatever the hell was in there, nobody wanted it getting out.

Suddenly, the sound of a large thump drew your attention away from the door. Lying down on the floor, Jeff was being pinned down by the three guards that were chasing him previously.

"Ugh...I'm tired," Jeff said as he let out a yawn.

Taking out the knife from the back of Jeff's waistband, one of the guards slide it over to the guard you were talking to prior, who then placed it in a zip lock bag.

"OK Jeff, just take these and we'll be done," The nurse said softly, trying her best to hide her agitation.

Based on the nurse's appearance, she was exhausted, not only physically, but mentally as well. Her eyes had dark purple bags, her hair was a mess, and her uniform as practically in shambles.

"Fine," Jeff mumbled before swallowing the two pills.

"Finally," The nurse said under her breath. "OK boys, get out."

As everyone cleared out the room, you made sure to be the very last person to leave. Once everyone turned the corner, you quickly made your way back to Jeff's cell. Peeking through the small section of bars, you watched as Jeff spat out the pills he just "swallowed."

"Airheaded bitch," Jeff joked as he let out a chuckle.

"Jeff," You whisper-yelled, causing Jeff to turn his head.

"Awww, you missed me," Jeff teased before making his ways to the bars.

"No. You got something of Liu's, give it."

"Took him long enough."

"Huh?"

"I took that idiot's scarf a week ago and now he wants it back? Is he slow?"

Walking over to his bed, Jeff lifted up the mattress and pulled out a black and grey scarf.

"Here, and tell him that he owes me big time," Jeff said before hitting the door two times, causing the sound to echo throughout the halls.

"Ok."

As you walked off, you heard Jeff burst into laughter.

"How crazy is he?" You thought.

Howver, you froze in your tracks at the sound of chains hitting the floor. Turning around ever so slowly, you saw a pile of chains and locks sitting infront of the door at the end of the hall.

You knew not to go knew it, your brain was sending you all the alarms.

"Leave it be," "Go back," "It has nothing to do with you."

Those words rung in your head over and over again, but your body started to move on its own. It was as if the door had a magnetic field to it that caused you to get closer and closer, your mind was begging for you to go back, but your body was consumed with curiosity.

Every day you wish you never took a step near that fucking door.

Picking up the chains, you examined the material. Pretty standard chains, amazing quality, but still standard.

As you looked up at the door, you felt your mind begin to fog up. As if you were a puppet on strings, your hands reached towards the wheel, and before you could process what was happening, the door was already open.

There was a single light bulb in the room, dangling from the ceiling. As the light bulb flashed, you could make out the figure of someone tied to a chair. However, the moment your body took a step into the room, closing the door behind you, the lights stilled, and you could control your body once more.

"What...?" You said, turning behind you.

Sitting in the chair was a man, couldn't be older than 25. His head was facing the floor, his blonde hair hiding his features, but it couldn't hide his pointed ears. Heavy chains were keeping him bound to the chair. There was no bed, no sink, no toilet, no trays, nothing. The room was completely bare, the only things taking up space was you, the chair, and him.

As if he could sense your fear, the man slowly lifted his head, his head remaining tilted to side as he looked at you. His bright green eyes bored into your soul. The chill that went down your spine was indescribable. And that smile. It was something you could never forget. The dilated pupils, his wide, sinister smile, and the crazed look on his face. It still gives you nightmares.

"What...are you."

You didn't even think about your words. Whoever he was, he wasn't human.

CRACK!

You flinched as the sound of chains hit the floor once more. He broke off his chains.

Gibbons never trained you for a situation like this, saying that they would teach you once you got a job in a prison. So, all you could do was stare, pushing yourself as far back against the wall as you could.

As he made his way towards you, you felt your life flash before your eyes. The only thing you could think about was never being able to show your parents your certificate from the academy, how they'd never see you walk across the stage, and the sight of them seeing you body in a casket.

As he stared down at you, all you could do was cry. But then, all you heard was...

Laughter?

Looking up, all you saw was him throwing his head back in laughter, clapping his hands as he did.

"YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!" The man yelled as he sat down in front of you, holding his stomach.

All fear you had was traded with confusion.

"...What?"

"You're, you're that intern, right?"

"Uh, no?"

"Liar," The man said before booking your nose. "You're hot for an intern."

"..."

Standing up, the man reached his hand out towards you. "Name's Ben."

You swore you had heard that name before, but you couldn't place your hands on where.

Taking his hand, Ben pulled you up with a suprising amount of strength. Due to the how hard he pulled you, you ended up stumbling into his arms, causing his to wrap his arms around your waist.

You knew better than to think this, but you couldn't ignore how attractive, or more so how cute he was. Despite being in prison, his hair was relatively neat, and his smile and freckles were adorable.

If only you knew...

"I, uh... I didn't mean to come in here."

"I know!"

"...How?"

"You got a phone in your, left, no, right back pocket, along with a keycard that you stole," Ben said before leaning in, a teasing but flirtous look in his eyes, "Pretty illegal Little Miss/Mr. Intern."

Oh my god you could die right now. You were never one to fall so easily for someone's advances, but the way he spoke, the look in his eyes, and the way his arms wrapped around your waist made you melt.

"Can I see your phone?"

"O-Ok."

You didn't even think twice.

What was he doing to you? You were always reasonable, you rarely allowed yourself to fall into such emotions.

It didn't matter how he made you feel or react, he's a criminal, and if his room was this this locked up, that meant he was dangerous from the rest. Despite how fogged up your mind was, that was the one thing that you could think straightly about.

While you were distracted by your conflicting emotions, Ben was quickly slipped your phone into the pockets of his pants.

"Why don't we take this off," Ben said before pulling the helmet off your head.

Now that he had a good look at your face, Ben could feel his smile only growing wider. Thoughts raced through his head as he looked at you.

Disgusting.

Suddenly, he kissed you. You wanted to push him away, tell him that you couldn't put this opportunity at risk, but you just couldn't. Instead, you leaned into it, your body moving on its own.

"No, no we can't...I can't lose this," You said as you pulled away from the kiss.

"No one's going go find out " Ben responded, pulling you closer. "No one comes in here anyways."

You shouldn't believe his words, he's a criminal, you know better. Don't let every Gibbons taught you be all for nothing.

"...ok."

As Ben kissed you again, much rougher this time, you felt your mind go blank. As his tongue slipped into your mouth, his hands taking off the guard uniform, your hands made their way under his shirt.

Stop. Stop now. Go back. Leave.

The two of you then sunk to the floor, you straddling his hips as he gripped your hair.

As his hands pulled down your pants, you felt as if none of this mattered. The internship you worked months to get. It just, didn't matter anymore. Your mind was blank.

The room then went black, the only thing you could see was his eyes. All you could feel was his hands roaming your body touching every last bit of you. All you could remember was you straddling his lap, one of his hands holding your arms back as his other gripped your hair, forcing you into a kiss. You felt everything. And it all felt sooooo...painfully good.

"M-Mh fuck baby~ I ain't ever gonna stop..."

-------------------------------------------------------------

You never hated yourself more.

The entire event was a blur. Your mind and body weren't even on the same page, hell, they weren't even reading the same book. You didn't even feel like yourself during the whole endevour, it felt as if someone was wearing your skin, acting as you while you watched from the outside.

You had the power to stop it, you were an officer afterall. But the look he gave you, the touches, the words of reassurance, it was all intoxicating and so painfully mind numbing.

Did you even want it? You didn't even know. Moments before, when you felt in control of yourself, all you could feel was fear. He wasn't safe, he wanted to hurt you, but why didn't he? You were right there.

You didn't want to see him again, not at all. He was fucking with your head. You can't trust him, but anytime he's around it's as if all logic and sense leaves your body. You were completely at his will and he barely had to try.

But, something about him made him addicting. The way he's making you feel isn't normal, the way you so blindly opened the door wasn't normal, the patchy memories weren't normal. HE WASN'T NORMAL. He's doing this to you, but how?

"Y/N!"

Shooting up, you were no longer in solitary, but instead you were back in your office. Liu's scarf was placed neatly on you lap, and on your desk was you phone.

Standing at the desk was a very tired, but concerned Mandel.

"Ma'am?"

"I came in to check on you two hours ago, but you weren't here. Came back an hour ago, still not here. Came back five minutes ago, still not here. But when I come back now, FAST ASLEEP. Where. Were. You."

"...I was...I... I was trying to get my TV back from a guard..."

"One, for two hours? And two, who gave you one to begin with?"

"Um...Yeah, and I don't know..." "...Ugh...Wait, why the hell do you have a phone?" "Why wouldn't I?"

"Our prison doesn't allow tech due to a certain inmate."

"Why?" You asked, your blood going cold.

"He's able to control any kind of technology in a twenty-five mile radius. He's able to travel from tech to tech, he's one of our nonhuman inmates."

"What is he?"

Mandel looked around in the hallway before fully entering the room.

"We're not allowed to talk about him...but I'll tell you," Mandel said before taking a seat in front of you. "I won't say names, but he's a ghost. He was sacraficed by a cult, and came back as a vengeful spirt. He died relatively young based off what he told us, but he seems to be aging even as ghost. The longer we keep him, the harder it is to keep him under control. Not only that, but he's getting stronger too."

"...Will I be interacting with him at all?"

"What?! No! Are you crazy? You may be handling the Abbie Grace case, but he is far too dangerous for you. He's already on death row, Y/N, have you noticed that no one else is despite their crimes? I want you to focus on this case and nothing else. I don't want you interacting with inmates outside of the ones I assign you," Mandel said before leaning into your face, her eyes glaring into yours. "And I'll know if you do."

"...Y-Yes ma'am."

Picking up a file on the table, Mandel skimmed through the folder before speaking to you. "How did Toby's interview go?"

"Ma'am, have any of you guys thought of the possibility that Abbie still might be alive?"

Mandel's posture immediately straightened as she looked up at you, the atmosphere of the room changing into a more serious tone. Lowering the file, Mandel spoke, "What happened?"

"Getting Tobias to talk was a challenge. He kept teasing and refused to corporate. I asked him a few questions just to get a rough idea on his personality and patterns, just to get to know him better," You replied, sitting up straight as you played with the hair tie that was wrapped around your wrist. "When I bought up Jeff he finally started talking. Gibbons taught me to look into the way someone spoke, and when Tobias was talking about Abbie, he was talking about her in the present tense. When I asked him if she was dead, he said that he never said she wasn't."

Mandel's eyes widened in shock after you spoke. You neve saw Mandel so expressive due to her face being caught in constant exhaustion. "Never... We never found her body so we assumed she was dead. But, I'm not sure if we can take his word for it."

"How so?"

"He may not look like it, but Toby is a pretty good liar, anything he says we take with a grain of salt."

"Who else if involved in the case?"

"Jeff, Toby, and this Boss character from what we know."

"What if we get someone besides Toby to tell us if she's dead or not?"

"Hm... Jeff might, but his awnsers really depends on his mood."

"What about this Boss guy?"

"Here's the thing, we don't know who he is."

"What? What do you mean?"

"We've caught every pasta we know of, except for the guy they call Boss. But, there's also the possibility that the Boss isn't just one guy. Based off what we know about the proxies, one of their bosses is a man known as Slenderman, but we don't even know if he's real. He's only a legend, there's no picture of him, nor has he committed any acts himself. But, when Timothy and Brian first got here, they heavily implied that there way another boss. They didn't say any names, but that's what they implied. We also don't know if they're all working for the same boss. When Jeff calls someone the Boss, he can be talking about a completely different person than Toby," Mandel stated before hiding her face in her hands. "This case in so confusing..."

"Tell me about it," You said before looking up at Mandel. "So, what should we do?"

"Hm?"

"I mean, if Toby's right, this changes how we'll go about the case. It wouldn't be a murder case anymore but instead a missing person's."

"How we'll go about it isn't much of your concern. As you have interviews with the suspects, we're also having interviews with them as well, just to compare and contrast statements and behaviors. Keep in mind, you're still in training, and this is an internship afterall. Don't get ahead of yourself."

"I knowww, but this is such an exciting experience! I've been trusted to work with the worst criminals in the country, it's truly an honor."

"It's an honor til your working 22 hour shifts," Mandel stated bluntly before opening a redbull that she pulled out of her pockets. "I'm going to leave you to your devices."

"Is their anything you want me to do in particular?"

"Hmmm... Ask Chief Salloum for some evidence we collected on Abbie's case, I want you to look into and see if there's one, any clues on where she can be if she's still alive, and two, just look for anything you think is important. In the mean time, I'll try to get you an interview with Jeffery by the end of the week."

"OK Ma'am. Also, um, where can I find Chief Salloum?'

"Salloum is next to Banklin's Office. Salloum is leading the investigation while Banklin is handling the officers, he might have some information, but I'm not entirely sure," Mandel stated as she opened the door, "Good luck, Kiddo."

As the door closes after Mandel, you didn't even notice how long you were holding your breath for. What Mandel said about this ghost inmate really sent your mind into a frenzy. Whoever he was, they clearly wanted to keep him a secret.

"OK. Should I meet up with Liu or Salloum?" You asked yourself as you looked down at Liu's scarf.

After interacting wuth the Woods brothers, you couldn't help but notice how different they were from each other. Jeff was loud, perverted, sadistic, playful, and emotional, while Liu was more quiet and reserved, but his behavior was flipping. When you first met Liu, he was playful and painfully teasing, but when you met with him again at the cells, he was quiet and acted like he didn't want to speak with you at all. To be honest, you didn't know what was scarier, Jeff's weird unapologetic personality, or Liu's bipolar one.

"Liu."

Standing up from your desk, you wasted no time as you made your way back to the inmate quarters.

Checking the time in your phone, you noticed that it was 2AM. When you got here with Gibbons, it was around 6 or 7, and based on the waiver and contract Gibbons had you sign, you wouldn't be let out til 7AM.

As you walked towards the door of the quarters, you flinched at the sound of banging on the glass. Turning your head, you felt yourself ease up as you made eye contact with a pair of dark green eyes.

Raising up the scarf, you could feel Liu smile from beyond the glass. Liu's smile was different from everyone else's, it was soft, it was genuine.

Entering the quarters, Liu was waiting for you on the other side. Handing him the scarf, he stared at it for a bit before putting it on.

"Fucking asshole."

"Sorry it took so long, stuff came up."

Liu only glanced at you before rolling his eyes.

"This isn't even all of it," Liu said bluntly.

"What? This is all Jeff gave me. What else does he have"

"My gun."

"...oh... So uh, deals off?"

Liu didn't say another word as he grabbed your wrist, dragging you towards a cell.

"...ugh," A voice from the top bunk said.

Looking up, all you saw was the top half of Toby's body dangling from the top bunk.

"Are you drunk?" Liu asked honestly, poking at the man's face.

"Maybeeeee," Toby said before reaching out to Liu, making kissing noises as he did.

"Go to bed, Tobias," Liu said, pushing Toby's body back onto his bed. "Got any more?"

"Under the desk," Toby said as he face planted into his pillow.

Picking up the bottle, Liu sat down on the bed as he opened it. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything you know."

"Pretty vague to be honest."

"Alright then... What did you do to Abbie?"

"Even more vague."

"How?!"

"Cause I said so," Liu said before taking a sip of his alcohol, hiding his amusement as Toby giggled.

"He ain't telling you shit!" Toby yelled before bursting out into laughter.

"Shut up, Ticci," Liu said.

"Don't call me that," Toby slurred.

"Whatever."

"Enough! I don't have time for this. Where is Abbie?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know."

"I wasn't the last one to have her."

"Last one?! How many people was she with?"

"Too vague."

This man was going to be the death of you.

Groaning into your hands, you thought about your most important question.

"Is he awake?" You asked, pointing to Toby.

Peeking over the bunk, Toby was sound asleep, snoring into his pillow as he did.

"No."

"...Is Abbie Grace alive?"

That was the first time you saw a reaction from Liu. The best you could describe his face was stumped.

"Why you ask?"

"Just awnser the question."

Liu's face went back to his numb expression before glancing upwards.

Without saying another word, Liu nodded his head. That was all the conformation you needed.

"Where is she, Liu."

"I don't know, and this isn't an interview, so I have no obligation to anwser."

"How would you feel if I told the head of this side that you have a gun in your possession?"

"One, you don't even know who that is, two, I don't have it, Jeff does, and three, how would you feel if I told Mandel that not only did you sneak into here, did a favor for a prisoner, but you also slept with one as well?" Liu said, leaning in so close to your face that your noses were just barely touching. "That's pretty punishable."

You felt your blood run cold, and he could see it on your face.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Liu said before pushing himself against the wall. "Don't talk all big when your small, sweetie."

"How did you know..."

"Know what?"

"W-What you just said."

"I didn't say anything."

Both of you knew what he said; you could see the amusement in his eyes.

"Ooooo, what'll happen if Banklin finds out that the intern slept with dear old Benjamin...Intership go bye bye," Liu joked, waving his hand before laughing. "Don't worry, I won't tell if you don't. Secret safe."

You never thought you'd be blackmailed by a prisoner, but today was already full of surprises.

"Now, is that all, princess/princie?"

"...Yeah."

"Don't be so sad," Liu said before grabbing your face with his hands, his touch being painfully soft. "You're the only one."

You felt sick to your stomach.

Standing up as fast as you could, you quickly made your way out of the room; Liu's giggles echoing throughout the halls.

You were so dumb.

You were supposed to logical, practical, and you normally were, but ever since you stepped into to this hell hole it was as if a switch was flipped in your head. You would never be making these many mistakes. Gibbons would kill you if he found out, but you just wanted to make him proud, he's worked his ass off to get you here, you didn't want to waste it.

"What's wrong with me?"

"OW!"

You were so caught up in your train of thought that you failed to notice the man in front of you.

"Oh I, I'm sorry. Let me help you," You said, quickly bending down to help the man pick up his files.

Pushing up his glasses, the man revealed a soft smile.

"No no, it's ok. You're the intern, correct?"

"Um, yes!"

"What's your name, kiddo?" The man asked as he started to walk towards the offices.

"Y/N L/N, sir."

"Call me Salloum. I'm one of the leaders of the case we're having you look into. How is that going?"

"It's been a Rollercoaster to say the least."

Salloum pulled a key out of his pocket as he opened the door to his office. "Hm... How so?"

"I thought I had the case figured out. But, when I was interviewing Tobias he said something interesting. "

Sitting down at his desk, Salloum pulled out a small notebook as he leaned back into his chair, placing his feet on desk in the process. His tired, empty eyes stared into your young, stressed ones as he looked at you and his notebook. "I'm listening."

"He implied that Abbie Grace is still alive."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"He implied-"

"No I know I know! It's just. Fuck! How could we miss that, how could we overlook that? How could I overlook that?"

"Um, Salloum..."

"Not now kid, just. Ugh. Thank you for bring this to my attention, but I need you to leave now. There's a lot of stuff I need to get done."

"Yes, yes, of course, of course."

Once you got back to your office, all you did was sit down and think. It was all so overwhelming.

However, all you could feel were hands roaming all of your body as you zoned out entirely. Faded whispered slowly growing louder and louder as your body went limp.

You don't even know.

Such a good girl/boy you are.

You're mine now...

My perfect little whore.

You're so pathetic.

Stupid.

Dumbass.

Useless.

Useless..

Useless...

USELESS!

What did he do to you. It wasn't natural. You weren't in control. You were a puppet. He controlled you. But why? Why you? For what reason? Why does he have your phone? Should you tell Mandel? Why are you crying? Why are you shaking? Why is the world spinning?

BEN. The most dangerous inmate in the entire prison. His power: technological manipulation.

You were so stupid. Did you really forget, or did his control fog your mind? But if he did control you, how?

You couldn't take it anymore. You needed to go home for the night. Now. You needed to leave now. He couldn’t reach you if you left, right? He couldn't touch you again, he couldn’t control you again, he can't hurt you again if you leave. You'll come back tomorrow with a fresh mind and be ready for work. Yes. Yes. Just, leave.

"Miss," You said as you walked into Mandel's office.

"Yes?" Mandel responded, not looking up from her paperwork.

"I need to go home."

"What? Now? Your shift isn't even..."

As Mandel looked up at you, her words froze. You looked tired. Traumatized. Souless. You looked done.

"Kid what happen?" Mandel asked, standing up as she made your way towards you.

"I need to go home for the night."

"Look at me kid, what happened."

"...home... I want to go home," You stuttered out as you burst out into tears. "I'll be back tomorrow I promise but I need to go home."

Mandel just stared at you before nodding in approval. She got you an Uber and you were able to get a ride back to your dormitory at the Academy.

"Hey! You're back early, how'd it go?" Your roommate asked as you walked in.

However, you just walked past them, closing the door to your room as you plopped down onto your bed.

You were exhausted to say the least. You didn't even notice you fell asleep. But, for some reason you woke up in the middle of the night. You were still kind of sleepy so you weren't fully aware of your surroundings, but after some complicating of whether or not you should get out of bed, you slowly became aware to the sound of a TV.

Looking at your clock you saw that it was 4:45 AM.

"Lillian's never up this late," You grumbled as you stood up.

Your position on the bed was kind of awkward. Your upper body was laying on the bed while your legs dangled onto the floor.

"Lillian, can you turn it down please?" You asked as you rubbed your eyes, standing infront of your door as you faced the TV.

But, much to your suprise, no one was there. The TV was the only source of light in the entire room, and playing on it was just static.

"...I'm too tired for this," You mumbled before grabbing the remote.

But, the TV wouldn't turn off. No matter how many times you slammed down on the button the static would just continue.

"Are the batteries dead or something?" You asked yourself as you examined the remote.

In the back of your head you knew something was wrong. But, all you wanted was to get a normal night's rest and in the morning you could go back to work like nothing happened.

In what little time you were at the prison for you were able to deduce one thing. That place was full of secrets. Secrets that everyone knew but were never brave enough to discuss. Everyone you interacted with just held this vibe of uncertainty, anxiety, fear. It was like everyone knew that this place wasn't secure, and it didn't look like it either. What kind of prison doesn't have cameras? Or evenbetter, what kind of prison holds some of Americas most dangerous serial killers all in the same prison, in the block, knowing damn well that all of them are acquainted with one another.

If you were any other intern you would've just quit the moment this happened, but you were just any other intern. There was a reason on why there were here, a deeper reason. A reason that surpassed even government control. Maybe you were better off being a detective. Maybe you wouldn't be where you are now.

Rotting away. With Mom and Pa staring at you from the other side.

I should've quit.

"Nope, nothing wrong with the remote," You said before setting it back down. "Imma just put my headphones in."

But, as you turned around, you felt your blood run cold as you heard an all too familiar voice come from the TV.

"Baby~"

That glitchy, raunchy, mocking voice. You didn't dare turn around.

"Awwww, don't be scared."

Footsteps.

How? How the hell did he get here? How did he escape without anyone noticing?

Hands....hands. You felt his arms wrap around your waist as you leaned onto you. It felt as if he was towering over you.

"I ain't gonna hurt you," Ben said before placing something in your hand. "Just wanted to return this."

Your phone. A part of you just wanted to throw it out of your dorm window, something about it just didn't feel right, but, you stopped yourself. You didn't have the money to just buy a new one, and this was the only way you can communicate with your parents.

"How'd you get out...?" You asked.

"Oh, I'm not here. You see, I can travel a little bit of my soul to anywhere I want within my technological reach. I'm like a little hallucination while my body remains in my cell. I could come here right now if you want."

That voice. That feeling. Your world started spinning.

Not again.

"Have a little fun," Ben whispered, rubbing your arm as he talked. "We could do way more here than out there... You'll be fucking screaming."

Stop.

Your mind and body was fogged up. You couldn't think, you couldn't move.

But suddenly, you felt normal again. All of a sudden you came back to your senses and pushed him off you.

"No! I don't want any of this. Go back before I file a report that you escaped."

"What is that going to do? I can just report that you had sex with an inmate. That's pretty immoral, Y/N."

He wasn't wrong. But, Liu told you this wasn't the first time something like this happened, so maybe you'd have a chance at saving your career.

"I'm not the immoral one. Go. I don't want to see you again, you hear me?"

All he did was laugh. That glitchy, high pitched laugh...

"Loud and clear!"

You watched as Ben floated back into the TV, causing it to shut off completely.

Exhausted, you made your way back to your bed. As you laid down in your bed all you could think about was Abbie. Despite the Rollercoaster you had today all you could think about was her. She was out there somewhere. Sad, scared, alone. You had to look into it more tomorrow. You had to get a sit down with Toby and break him. Maybe you could look more into his file and figure out some weaknesses you could exploit. Out of everyone you talked to, he seemed like he'd be the most easy to crack. Jeff is too violent, trying to crack him would probably leave you with a cracked skull. Liu is way too unpredictable. Sometimes he's wacky, sometimes he's quiet, sometimes he's cold, sometimes he's compliant, sometimes he wants to just fuck with you point blank.

Plus, Toby was pretty interesting to talk to. A little manic, a little unhinged, but he had a surprising amount of life and personality to him. Charming? No. Chaotic and fun? Definitely. Maybe a talk with him can lighten up your mood. You still had to figure out how to talk to him. He was the inmate you wanted to have a bond with. An inmate who trusted you and would be honest with you. An inmate you could rely on.

You made up your mind. You were going to talk with Toby.

-------------------------

"Feeling better, kid?" Mandel asked as you walked into her office.

"Much better," You said as you sat down in front of her. "Ma'am, I'd like to have a meeting with Toby today."

"Why?"

"I talked it over with Salloum and I'm pretty sure I got the go to dig into deeper."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

No you were not.

"OK, I'll have him ready by 10."

You knew lying to Mandel was going to bite you in the ass later, but you had to do what you had to do. Some of the best officers are considered the best because they did things differently, or at least that's what Gibbons taught you.

You spent the next three hours analyzing your interview with Toby. You analyzed his awnsers and behavior in order to come up with a solid approach.

You were able to come up with a series of questions that weren't too obvious in showing your motives. One thing you learned about Toby was that he was stubborn, and you had to navigate through that. Was it going to be easy, of course not! This man is the definition of a maniac.

Back to room 111.

You sat there anxiously as you heard footsteps slowly approaching.

"Don't make me regret this, don't make me regret this," You mumbled to yourself.

Rule number 1.

As the door opened, your breath hitched as you met the manic gaze of Tobias Erin Rogers. As he eagerly took a seat in front of you, you watched as the door closed behind you.

Now it was just you and Toby.

Always take what Toby says with a grain of salt.

"How are you doing Toby?" You asked, organizing your question paper as he talked.

"Pretty shitty *WOWIE* until I heard I was talking to you today," He said with grin on his face, leaning into the palm of his hand as he looked at you with admiration.

Hell, don't even consider it.

"That's good I suppose. Now, you want to get straight to it or would you like to talk about your night first?"

"...Straight to it."

No matter how believable he seems.

"OK, so."

Because he's always five steps ahead.

--------------------

Tags: @fexthehetalialover @asimpforlife134 @my-jukebox @ch3rrydr34ms @crejia @mspoisoncoil @bruhimsoinlove @imwallysdarling @idkisimptoomuch @noclue-0 @chexrybloss0m @refrigeranteborbulhante @tak0truc @br-que-ama-yanderes @bruhimsoinlove @constantine559 @jamja @srt-buu2 @ghostwriter54 @elevenbts @officaljackmiles

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renhanaschewtoy · 3 months ago

Text

Favorite Bartender

This one also got away from me OTZ I hope I did okay with Strade. Pardon my translation all I have is Google. I'll write Ren the cosplay handler when I get back from a con next week. If you're at Colossal North lmk! 💖 NSFW MDNI

There was something endearing about dive bars, there was something exclusive about them in their own right. People knew each other, there was a decorum of understanding. Regulars were their own type and new folk, out of towners, well- they usually couldn’t appreciate it fully. The Braying Mule was well and good, always rife with interesting people, but nobody could be “on” all the time. Strade knew that. In his own time, on the quiet nights he decided to be out but lay low, not on the prowl, not looking for an easy bright eyed mark, he was in this dive bar. The name didn’t even matter, the sign was so worn it had been taken down in a storm years ago- the owner just never bothered with it. Regulars kept business in order and they helped keep the place in check. Strade included himself in that roster. Granted nobody really knew him, all by his design. But he was endearing, he was liked here. Maybe it was just nice to shed away a little, wear a different mask.

And sometimes, even he had to admit, the acrid smell of the place reminded Strade of his own little projects. Pushing open the door, Strade moseyed up to the bar, giving a little nod and grin to a few other regulars who greeted him similarly or with a small wave or raise of a glass. Settling on an old worn stool, he leaned on the sticky lacquered wood and inspected the beer taps.

“You can stare at ‘em from sun up to sun down, they still haven’t gotten that funny sounding beer you keep trying to pitch.”

A teasing lilt of a voice draws his amber gaze over to your form shouldering the door behind the door open dragging a bucket of ice to dump into the bin and let the metal lid clatter shut. A grin pulls your lips as always. Ah- you. The feisty bartender who wasn’t afraid to talk shit to anybody, get their hands dirty if need be, keep the establishment and all in it in line with a way that was firm but fair. Admirable. “Ah, liebling, I didn’t know you were working tonight!” Strade mirrors your grin with a warm chuckle.

That was bullshit.

He knew your schedule.

He preferred to be here when you were here.

Though of course, sometimes he had to skip out or change it up so nobody, or you, got wise.

You give a playful roll of your eyes as you deftly pluck a stein and pull a tab with the glass tilted at the perfect practiced angle. A rich dark dark beer sits in front of him on an old cardboard coaster so worn it should likely be trash at this point. “It isn’t the one you were talking about but…you must’ve worn him down. He got a German beer.”

“You spoil me!”

“All I did was pour it.” You chuckle and lean against the back of the bar folding your arms expectantly, awaiting his verdict. Maybe it was because it was your job to serve him but Strade liked the attention you paid to him. It was different from the other patrons and regulars. You didn’t snap at him, your lips didn’t curl in a sneer at him, you didn’t wave him off. No- you paid attention, you listened, you participated. All beautiful qualities wrapped up into once very enticing package. Strade gives a little contented sigh before lifting the glass to his lips and taking a healthy swig, setting the glass down and wiping the foam from the corner his lips with his thumb.

“Hmm…it’s good. Strong.” Strade comments with a nod of approval before lifting his eyes to see you look some pleased with yourself about it. You could say all you wanted, but Strade picked up your tells. You were probably the one bothering the owner enough about getting a keg of something for him. You sweet little thing, you. “Do you know what it is?” He leans forward on his elbows with a tilt of his head as a lazy grin curls his lips. You look away and shrug.

“I dunno something something doppelbock or whatever.” You fib lamely, pretending as if you didn’t care, as if you weren’t pleased with your little stripe of success. Strade huffs a chuckle and leans back on the stool giving a hum of acknowledgement as he takes another sip. “How much do I owe you then?”

“Nah, on the house.” He knew that was coming, you always give him a few freebies here and there under the usual saying that everyone gets a free beer here and there with their regular patronage. But that usually only held after he had one or two, not just off rip. He gives you that disarming smile that makes most women swoon. It isn’t that you’re immune to it perse, rather a little more used to it. A motion of endearment to match your own. Strade watches you idly bustle around the bar, serving other customers, fetching fresh bottles, wiping down the bar- though the latter, it didn’t matter how much elbow grease you used. Occasionally he watches whatever is playing on the TVs around the joint, sipping his beer- of which you never let stay empty for too long. You always insisted it was muscle memory and your years of working but Strade noticed that he was given far better attention.

Drumming his fingers on the bar, he lazily looks to you, “It’s a slow night.” He muses thoughtfully, “Do a shot with me. It’s too lonely to alone.” His grin splits to show a flash of teeth and you chuckle, setting down a few clean pint glasses with a shake of your head as you lift a small, narrow can to your lips.

“Sorry, Strade. I don’t drink on the job.” You admit easily with a languid shrug as you take a few sip, Strade’s eyes glimpsing down to the column of your throat as it works to swallow your energy drink. He wonders what your throat might feel like in his grip, how smooth the skin would be against he callouses of his palms. How your pulse would flutter if he applied just the right amount of pressure. If he kissed that soft, unblemished skin, perhaps left marks. What did you like, he wondered? Did you prefer to be taken soft and gentle, peppered with praise and coos of endearment? Or did you like to be roughed up, bruising grips and mottled marks to decorate your skin while you’re growled filth at and degraded? It was a curious thought he entertained quite often, even so much as when he did take a victim home, sometimes he would imagine you when they were face down in the cheap foam mattress, when their hair was in his hand as he bucked his hips into their mouths…but you’d be different. You were different.

“Mmm…what a shame. You aren’t allowed to have a little fun?” Strade flutters his eyes for a moment to focus back on you, with a curious little brow arched on your face as you caught him daydreaming for but a moment. “Come on, it can be our little secret.” He teases mock conspiratorily, leaning towards you on the bar as. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Ah, I just don’t wanna risk getting messy on the clock.”

“One shot won’t fuck you up, liebling. You’re made of stronger stuff.”

“...You’re not going to let up until I do, eh?”

Strade pretends to look half heartedly apologetic but you both know he isn’t in the slightest. And to him a foot in the door is a foot in the door, sure- a shot on your shift is but an inch and he would just love to take your world. To become your world. He watches you give an exaggerated sigh of defeat and roll of your eyes before a playful smirk pulls your lips while you fish two shot glasses and begin to fill them.

Taking you, owning you, breaking you- it’s all part of the same pipe dream. As tempted as Strade is, as easy as it would be; you had family and friends, you had a wide social circle that was sure to garner attention with your disappearance. And he would be directly connected to you with this little song and dance routine he’s come to adore so. Doing such to you is a thrilling danger he can only flirt with but never act on. And that’s part of the allure of it all, of you. The shot glass is pushed in front of him, some of the liquor spilling over the rim before he picks it up and meets you half way in a cheers. “To our little secret.” He grins and you both tap your glasses on the bar twice before clinking your glass against his, downing your shot with the same practiced ease that Strade does. Strade watches you exhale through your nose before shooting him a smirk. “See? And you’re fine!” He chimes and you roll your eyes playfully before scooping up the dirty shot glasses.

Strade shuffles up beside you, easily stringing an arm around your shoulders and tucking you into his side. He smells of the beer you poured him, of lingering cigar smoke, a cologne of spice and musk that's as oddly comforting as it was masculine. “I'm…uh, just around back that way.” You mutter with a blush rising over your cheeks and pointing towards the back of the block. Strade chuckles to himself and nods, leading and preening at the feel of you leaning against him in kind. His large hand gives you shoulder an affectionate squeeze as you walk with some amicable conversation and goofing as usual, Strade's charm laid on a little thicker as he feigns a slur as if it was all your pours that impacted him so.

Hours tick and tock on by before you’re hollering last call for the bar. Strade settles up his tab and leaves you hefty tip that you, as always, try to give at least part of it back. Strade shakes his head, running a hand through his wavy chestnut hair. “You’ve earned it.” Strade insists as you pout at him before begrudgingly pocket the money. Not that you weren’t grateful but it felt excessive. Not that it mattered to him. “Hm…Let me walk you to your car.” Strade hums as he stands from the stool and fixes you with an expectant look.

“What? I’m not going to be done cleaning up here for like…another hour. I’ll be fine. I do it all the time. I’ve got my means.” You reply, waving him off as you begin to collect empty bottles and discarded napkins or coasters around the establishment. Strade’s huff is brief, but he rolls his shoulders back. Maybe he was being gluttonous after convincing you to break one little rule. “Besides, nobody but staff after we’re closed.”

“We already share one little secret, what’s one more? Surely some help and getting home sooner would be nice?” Strade urges, already beginning to upturn some barstools on other tables and onto the bar counter. Seeing you pause and chew your lip, seeing him already being able to sink his hooks in you, in any little way, is simply delightful. You play tough, you’re feisty, but clearly you like being looked after, like the attention he grants you. But you relent and give him a little smile that curls your lips, looking almost bashful. Strade gets a better look of behind the bar, be a little closer, be a little more alone with you and ultimately that’s all this was about really. Fostering trust, drawing you closer. Though it felt as if he was more in your orbit than anything but he was loathe to give up that control. This could only go so far, after all. Eventually you both finish up with your tasks about closing down the bar and you pull keys out of your pocket to lock up the doors as Strade waits behind you, hands leisurely in his pockets while he takes in the stillness of the night, or rather early morning. As if you two were the only people left alive for a moment.

“Ah, your chariot, liebling. Be safe getting home.” Strade grins as you unlock your car and he reaches for your door with a playful flourish and bow. You snicker to yourself, that ever charming grin pulling on your lips as you move to tuck into the driver's seat. He closes the door as your car rumbles to light and you give a shy little wave before pulling away which Strade returns.

Fuck does he want more. Want you. Standing there in the empty back lot he gives himself a moment to envision you again. Spattered in warm, sticky blood…begging under his hands for mercy…what kind didn't matter, tears beading your lashes, the way your eyes would roll back and flutter in agony or pleasure… Strade’s cock begins to stiffen in his pants as a shaky sigh parts his lips, lidded gaze watching your taillights disappear down the street.

×××

Perhaps he couldn't do all he wanted.

But there were some he could.

Coincidences were funny things, unexpected, sometimes happy, sometimes messy, Strade usually embraced them with his large open arms. The confidence of a man who lived and knew that he could spin just about any scenario to his favor. Tonight was a night he opted not to go to your humble bar. Sometimes, distance made the heart grow fonder after all and Strade couldn’t bear to let you make him go soft. Well…you usually had a different lingering affect but that wasn’t here nor there. There were some critical things he wanted that you simply couldn’t satisfy. Strade knew better. Nobody should shit where they eat. Strade was many things but he wasn’t stupid. So tonight was a little more routine, a little more…designed for the inclinations that you couldn’t sate. But Strade could pretend through perhaps someone who looked a smidge like you.

Oh goddammit. God, of course he would come over and say something- you made a point to make eye contact. You suck in a breath through your teeth and force a smile as you turn to look at Strade; toothy grin on his face and holding his stein close to his chest. “Hey Strade. Yeah, uh…got cut early so figured I’d have a night out.” You shrug, unable to hold his honey colored gaze for too long which seems to raise his brows, a curious twinkle in his eye as he sets his mug down on the table beside your glass as you idly poke at the straw and shift the ice around. The woman he had been chatting up wasn’t beside him but you could feel her eyes prickling at the back of your neck.

At a different bar across town, Strade was posted up a heavy glass stein laden with a dark doppelbock like you had last served him. Fortunate that the bar served something similar but not quite the same. It seemed to be the theme of the night as he chattered up an oblivious and bubbly woman, they had hair just a few shades off from your own- too (short/long) to quite fit you but Strade could make do. Their eyes were a darker tinge of (color) from your own, their smile didn’t carry that unspoken sarcasm, her clothes nearly polar opposite but that was the least of his concerns. Those certainly didn’t matter at all. “A shame you got stood up, truly. But I will say- their loss is certainly my victory.” Strade chuckles smoothly as the woman gives a titter of laughter, covering her painted lips with her hand trying to be coquettish. He leans in to murmur the final string of words that will put the nail in the coffin.

“Hey- uh…can I get a (preferred drink)? Thanks.”

Strade would know that voice anywhere. What were you doing here? Today was usually another one of your closing shifts. His attention falters as he looks over to you and catches you glimpsing at him with a rather annoyed side eye before turning your attention back to the bartender. Taking your drink you flash the bartender a grateful smile and slip your tip on the bar before quickly turning on your heel to disappear into the throngs of other people in the bar. Your lips set in a tight line as you skulked over to your friend settled up at one of the tall tables and you leaned against it with a bitter sigh.

You had no right to feel this way, to feel jealous. Strade was a regular, he was a patron where you worked. You weren’t blind, you knew he was good with his words, you knew he was charming. You naturally had tripped up at his charms but felt damn good that you’d never gone ass over tea kettle for them. Maybe it was foolish to think you had chemistry. Maybe it was stupid to have a secret little self rule not to date regulars- after all there were plenty of other bars. But seeing him lean over that woman, being so close to her, that lazy little grin he often gave you, the way the woman looked up at him so enamored…it made your stomach twist in taut knots. Your friend raises a brow inquisitively that you simply shoot them a look that makes them swallow their words as you raise your glass to your lips for a sip.

“Buddy! I didn’t know you would be here! What a nice surprise.”

“A night out, well- I’d say that’s a good reward for you, hm? Be served rather than serving? I could never forgive myself if I missed an opportunity to buy you a drink myself.” Strade places a hand to his heart in playful theatrics that for a moment make you forget your sour mood and a small smile quirk your lips.

“I mean, I’d hate to interrupt your night. You seemed pretty uh…busy.” You’d cringe at the delivery of your own words, a small grimace crinkles your nose for but a moment as your shoulders stiffen. It takes all Strade has not to let smug satisfaction come over him as he hears the bitterness tinge your statement. You were jealous. Oh, he relished in that, he adored it even. You simply had a way of always just making his evenings. Elation rose in his chest as a better opportunity presented itself in you. Sure- your beautiful blood would never paint his basement but if Strade played his cards right, he was more than certain he could make you scream and cry in other ways.

“And miss such an occasion? Please. This was a boring night until you came along. As always.” Strade replies smoothly with a toothy grin, “It isn’t every night we get to be on the same side of the bar.” And with any luck he can get you all to himself. Play the right cards, say the right things, get you wrapped around his finger, or his cock- whatever worked. You return his smile, your shoulders relaxing as you look up at Strade and give a little bob of your head to relent.

“...Yeah, yeah you’re right. It could be fun.”

“Of course it’ll be fun, have you met me?” Strade gives you a little wink before being interrupted by the woman who decides she’s had enough of being sidelined.

“Uhmm…I thought we were leaving?” Her arms wind around Strade’s arm, pressing herself against him with an exaggerated pout, trying to set a tone as you simply look between Strade and the woman, as Strade simply arches a brow to her, and your friend raises their brows to their hairline, sipping their drink with rapt attention as if watching some sort of reality TV program.

“Hmm? Mein Gott, wie peinlich…” Strade mutters for but a moment, his words and tone are genuine though some irritation belies the sheepish look he forces onto his rugged features. “Just a moment, buddy.” Strade gives your shoulder that same squeeze as the nights before as he places a hand firmly on the other woman’s back and leads her away from the table. Your throat grows tight again with an irritated exhale.

The night carries on, you getting a little bolder with each drink, every shared shot as you laughed and joked, growing a more and more affectionate with each little sip of courage Strade was happy to give you. But you were smart, you didn’t want to wake up hungover and with no recollection of this night. You wanted to remember whatever it was that you got from him, be it another simple walk to your car and a night of revelry or if it was tangled up in either of your bedsheets. And Strade was all too happy to oblige, watching you flaunt your mettle in the bar but being careful all the same as not to lose your head. Strade wanted you to cut loose. Wanted you to be as untethered and wild as possible. But maybe he was getting ahead of himself. Your friend had since excused themself quietly- reading the room and sending you a knowing little wink and wave that you gleefully grinned at.

Unbeknownst to you, ever the opportunist, Strade wasn’t willing to let the other woman go either. After leading her out through the alley and cracking her head hard enough to the wall to hear the skull fracture, she was swiftly bound, gagged and deposited in his trunk. A midnight snack for a later date. So when he returned with a reddened cheek, he had an easy story to spin.

“The fuck happened to you? Christ.” You remark, instinctively reaching out to his cheek before retracting your hand.

“Ah…well, she didn’t quite take so well to being told I…wasn’t interested.” Strade remarks with a roll of his broad shoulders and he could almost see that flicker of approval in your eyes that he’d opted to spend his night with you instead.

“Feels like I should be the one buying you a drink.” You quip playfully, nudging him with your elbow, you’re careful with your contact now, you don’t want to seem too eager. And that’s fine. Strade flashes you a grin of pearly whites before slinging an arm around your shoulder again to tug you close in a side hug again.

“No, no, no, I am a man of my word, liebling. Tonight is all about showing you a good time.” Strade chuckles warmly, the timbre of his voice sending a shudder down his spine that he can feel against his built frame. His hand slips from your shoulder to the cinch of your waist this time with a firmer squeeze, possessive. And you leaned in. Like he knew you would.

“I could go for a cigarette right about now…care to join me?” Strade’s voice is low in your ear, warm breath fanning over the side of your neck as he carefully tucks a strand of (color, type) hair behind your ear before his hand slips down past your hip to slip itself into your back pocket. A large hand gropes the plush of your ass through the denim eliciting a sharp inhale from you, a rosy hue blooming over your cheeks as you bob your head and let him guide you out the back door as the crisp night air meets your exposed skin.

“I didn’t know you smoke.” You look up at him curiously as Strade tucks the two of you into the cover of an empty side alley.

“There’s much you don’t know about me yet, liebling. But I could say the same for you, no?” Strade’s eyes glance to the side before returning back to you, leaning against the brick wall so cavalier, so unaware of what Strade could do to you, all he wants to do to you.

But he would take this, there was an outlet for later.

Sweet serendipity.

Your eyes drift up as you see Strade’s frame looming over you, silhouetted by the moon. Suddenly aware of how close he is to you, that you can smell his cologne again and your breath hitches slightly before you swallow thickly. “...Stra–mmpf!” His name is barely off your tongue before his lips crash onto your own. Hungry and all consuming as Strade descends upon you, devouring you as he presses you back against the cold brick wall, pinning you to it and the bulk of his body. His teeth nip at your lower lip, demanding entry that your foggy brain is powerless but to comply to. You can taste the bitterness of beer on his tongue and he can taste the sweetness of whatever you had been ordering on his tab. Strade’s groan is swallowed as your arms lift to string around his neck, fingers carding through his hair and nails raking against his scalp. He feels your back arch, pressing your body closer to his own, Strade lets a low growl at your willing surrender as he shifts a thigh between your legs, applying pressure to your aching core. Strade’s lips leave your kiss swollen lips to let you pant and catch your breath, rivulets of spit connecting your mouths as your lidded, glassy eyes slowly lift to Strade.

“Look at you, liebling…” Strade coos almost mockingly and it makes something tighten in you abdomen as the vice grip on your hips moves you lightly as if to help you ride his thigh that pulls a ragged moan from your throat. “Mmm…needy, hm? Don’t think I didn’t see that…that look from before…” Strade mutters as he dips his head to kiss along the curve of your jaw down to your throat, teeth nipping and tongue laving at the spots to leave a litany of marks in his wake. Little mewls leave your lips as you squirm under his grip, wanting to be closer, trying to form words but your tongue feels heavy in your mouth. “...Don’t be embarrassed. I liked it…I’m flattered.” Strade purrs as he feels your hips buck against his thigh eagerly, hands fisting his wavy tresses that sends shockwaves straight to his cock that strains against the zipper.

Large hands drift to the button of your jeans, popping them open and the draw of your zipper being pulled down that makes your lashes flutter. “W-Wait…woah, St-Strade…not here, I-”

“Mmm? Why not here?” He teases, dragging the fabric down the smooth skin of your thighs that you suddenly tried to clamp shut. “No, no…” He tutts softly, prying them back apart, “Wouldn’t this be just so perfect? We are in private…and if someone were to see, well…” His tone is alight with amusement, “They could be jealous instead…that I have you.” Your nervous eyes can’t tear themselves away from the sight of Strade crouching between your legs, forcing you to lean back against the wall in nothing but your underwear that he moves about to expose your throbbing, eager sex. “Behave, liebling…I don’t do this for just anybody.” And that might be one of the truest things he’s ever said. Control was always a given, Strade to take what he wanted, perhaps you made him feel…generous. All the attention you’ve fawned upon him in your own way, how pliant you showed him you could be- and only for him, that was something that deserved to be rewarded. To melt you, make you more malleable in his hands. His tongue traces shapes and patterns along your sensitive flesh, one hand keeping your thighs apart before one disappears to nudge a finger at your entrance before easing a finger in, crooking it against that spongy spot of nerves before thrusting slowly as he spelled his own name with his tongue in a way that had you fighting against bucking your hips.

“F-Fuck…St- shit..! Strade…!” Your breath fans out in ragged pants as you watch him lave attention over a bundle of nerves paired with a thrusting digit that almost has your knees buckling. “...’m gonna…!” You keen eagerly, lashes fluttering as he feasts upon you wetly, soft sounds in the alley with your muffled moans as you bit down into your knuckle to feebly stifle your wanton sounds. Pressure builds and coils tight in your belly, flirting with the edge of euphoria until Strade bites the inside of your thigh eliciting a yelp from you. “The fuck?!” Strade stands up fast, with a dexterity and agility that didn’t match his size and stature, that had your body falter slightly against the bricks. Strade’s hand holds your chin in place as he looks down at your lips and your furrowed brow. Your pleading was so sweet, so beautiful…god- he could make you beg more. But for now…well, Strade has his ways, as always. “Strade, please…” You groan and he seems amused all the more.

“Open your mouth.”

“Wh..huh?”

“Open, liebling. I won’t ask again.” There’s an authoritative edge to his voice that has your core throbbing, leaking as you’re exposed in the alley. The thrill of it all sending lightning through your veins as you slowly part your trembling lips. Strade gives a low, rumbling hum of approval before spitting onto your tongue making heat flood your cheeks and a humiliated whine in the back of your throat. “Swallow. You should be grateful…you taste so good.” Strade watches you close your mouth, your throat bob slowly as you swallow and sigh before your breath is stolen from your lungs again in a bruising kiss, swallowing your moan greedily. Parting for air is brief as you feel large calloused hands gripping your waist to pull you further upright, shuffle you around until your front is pressed to the brick, the fat of your cheek pressed to the cold bite of brick but Strade seems to mind the pressure and strength he holds over you as you’re bent, pants now pooled around your ankles but you’re too far gone to care. You arch your back with purpose, pressing your ass back against his hardened cock with an eager obedience that Strade adored so.

“So good for me, liebling…like you were made for me…” Strade huffs as you hear the soft clink of his belt buckle coming undone, a calloused hand groping the fat of your ass before shifting your underwear to meet with your jeans below you before you feel the bulbous head of his cock press against you. The hand on your ass moves to grip your hip and keep you steady while the other trails up the beautiful curve of your spine, up the nape of your neck before his fingers tangle in your hair, the grip is firm enough to sting a little but not hurt. Strade could if he wanted to, temptation was there most certainly but he’d go slow for you. Breaking you in piece by piece with rough affections that would leave you satisfied. He could feel how eagerly you were, how badly you wanted this, and how readily you responded to his means. You whine with his fingers in your hair, pressing your hips back and urging him in. And that’s all Strade needs, to have you wrapped around him. And wrapped around him you will be. Until you are bent and broken, full and delirious; treated better than anyone one else. You were something different, something special. Untouchable but in a way immortal to Strade.

Maybe you could be something… special and more permanent.

He was already flirting with something similar in Ren back home but you…oh, what fun it could all be. Thoughts for another day.

With a sudden snap of his hips, Strade buries himself in you with a brutal thrust that punches the air from your lungs and has you choking on air as your body quivers at the sudden intrusion. “Ich kann fühlen wie du dich nach mir sehnst (I can feel you aching for me)…”Strade huffs with a smug smirk curling the corners of his lips as he sets a ruthless pace, the wet sound of skin colliding with skin, his heavy sac slapping against you with each push of his hips that you reciprocated in kind as your teeth dug into your lower lip trying to keep your sounds hushed but your body betrayed you. Strade bent over your back nipping at your ear as he stilled to more shallow thrusts to torture you further, “Just imagine, Liebling…someone seeing you spread out here for me…” He lilts in that low silken tone that has your walls clenching around him, fluttering with each filthy, honeyed word that drips from his lips. “Just a perfect little cock sleeve…just for me, yes?” Punctuated by a deliberate roll of his hips that has your lashes fluttering and eyes threatening to roll back into your skull. A sharp tug to your hair leaves your mouth agape as you tighten around his dick again with a breathy groan. “...Say it.”

“Sh-shit…please! Yes, please!” You nearly sobbed, desperation and want clouding all rational thought as you begged Strade, giving him the allowance to do as he pleased with you. Soft mutterings in his mother tongue left his lips; an assortment of praise, of filth, obscenities as his thrusting became staccato before a long, low growl parted Strade’s lips, muffled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Spilling into you with rivulets of thick, viscous cum while your walls milked him greedily, your own orgasm threatening to have your knees to collapse around you but Strade was quick to move his thick arms around your middle to keep you up, keep you in place as he pumped you full of his cum until it dripped out of you obscenely, forming a small puddle on the concrete. The vacant alley was only given life by the two of you panting raggedly to catch your breaths, Strade’s grip still a vice you wouldn’t be able to break from.

“Hhnngh!...fuck…just for you!” You manage to choke out pleadingly, trying to push your hips back but Strade halts entirely in a way that makes you whine.

“You can do better than that.”

“I d-don’t…wh…uh…” The brick digs into your palms as you try to collect your addled thoughts, of what words might appease him, “Haah~...mmm…J-Just for you, Strade.” You try as his name seems to be all that can fill the folds of your brain; his taste, his smell, the feel of him felt ingrained into you.

“That’s better…” He croons to you, however the feeling of you throbbing around his aching cock was just as torturous for Strade but he could be patient from time to time, when it counted anyway. Impulse won most of the time. “Taking me so well…” his breathing labored as you could feel him pressed to your back, hips pistoning with newfound vigor as Strade’s hand left your hair to close around your throat. No pressure is applied, simply relishing in the feeling of your erratic pulse as he fucks all coherent thought from your brain as he uses the leverage to bring your face to his in a sloppy kiss. All tongue and teeth, as if to consume you whole, that you would be devoured. “Mnnngh…hah…sucking me back in like that…such a slutty little hole…” Strade growls against your mouth as his hips slam against your ass so hard you were certain you’d be bruised by the end of it. “...fill you to the brim…” He huffs, a deep flush had risen from his throat to his cheeks, a heady look that washed over his features as sweat beaded on his brow dampening the curls that fell over his forehead.

“F-Fuck…” You breathe, slowly raising your hands to rest on his forearms, giving them a little tap, “I just…I can’t…” You were still trying to collect your thoughts and you could almost feel him smirk against your skin as you felt his breaths warm your sweat slicked skin.

“...Maybe I can interest you in a nightcap? At my place?” He hums, dislodging himself from your depths with a deep grunt as he watches you quiver and leak. You seem to take stock again, remembering where you are, as you quickly reach to tug up your underwear and jeans, pulling your shirt back down as Strade tucks himself back into his pants and adjusts his belt. You look so pretty like this, embarrassed but thrilled, debauched but dressed again- the tell tale signs of what- or rather who, happened to you, evident on the outside and inside.

“Huh? Oh, no…I don’t think so.” You breathe with a little chuckle and Strade looks at you, a dark and almost hollow look upon his face but for a minute that you seem to misinterpret. “Just cause my place is closer. C’mon.” You give him that fond, disarming smile as you dare to reach for his hand and lead him to the parking lot that has the brief uptick of annoyance assuaged from Strade entirely at your quick turnabout. He pushes a small smile on his lips before raising a hand to cup your jaw before holding the back of your skull and pressing another searing kiss to your lips.

“Give me your address and get ready for me…I just have to stop home very quickly. But I will be there.”

“If you stand me up, I’m pouring you Malort every time.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, liebling. You said so yourself, you’re just for me now.” He flashes you grin that holds an underlying meaning you can’t quite ferret out, but you giddy stride to your car to do as your told for a promised nightcap.

#boyfriend to death #btd #btd strade #ykmet strade #ykmet #btd strade x reader #strade x reader #boyfriend to death strade #strade #ykmet strade x reader

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